"Whether it's sunny or not, it's sure / To be enormously complex." -William Meredith 

Dear Friends,

I've read my share (and your share and his share and her share) of self-help books and musings on Buddhism and "living in the now." But everyday, I understand more and more just how difficult this is to truly do. Phones ring, texts and emails roll in, machines malfunction, bills arrive, stuff breaks, illnesses and deaths come to those we love. In the midst of all of this, it snows a foot and the dog pees on the carpet and...well you get the idea. Beyond all that, the fragmented world only offers distraction after distraction. As I write this, I compulsively check my phone every five minutes at a minimum. The point is that it's really, really, really hard to stop for even a second. Some days pass in a manic hurry to do...well...something. No one -not even Eckhart Tolle- can tell you it's easy to just stop and suddenly "live in the moment."

What I can tell you is that you're not alone if you feel like you can't live in the moment, can't feel satisfied and unafraid in your present state, can't let go of the past or stop worrying about the future. I live my life in a constant alternation between despair and mild contentment but sometimes, very rarely, cheerfulness breaks through and it's a feeling like no other until I realize that I'd better stop before I jinx it. You are not alone if you've ever waited (or are waiting) for the other shoe to drop, the next family member to die or take ill, the next emotional meltdown to come, the next work crisis to rear its head. You're not mental, you're not crazy, you're not a panic attack, you're not a loser, you're not sick, you're not your thoughts, you're not living in the wrong moment...you're a person. Just like me.

I'll end it there and, as I apologize for the ramble, I reassure you that you're not, in fact, alone. And that sometimes just knowing this can make all the difference.

With affection,
Phil